Celebrating Growth

Fun fact: I'm writing this while sitting at the Union at Taylor University while listening to Spotify. Somethings never change. As I sit here I think of all the memories I had during my four years as a student at Taylor. However, right now I'm not reflecting on what happened during my time at Taylor but where I have come since graduating from Taylor in May of 2014. Since graduation I have spent two summers at Village Creek Bible Camp and 11 months at Flatirons Community Church. These two locations of ministry have added lots of potential for growth in my life. The reason for reflecting on the last year is because something happened last night that would not have happened during my time as a student.

Last night I had the opportunity to be the speaker at Basics. (Quick reminder, Basics was the ministry that I volunteered with during my time at Taylor.) Not only was I the speaker but I had the opportunity to present the story of Saul/Paul in the light of not being ashamed to share the gospel. In the moments before I went up to speak I was talking with one of my professors and the Basics director, Joy. Joy pointed out that if I had been asked to teach when I was a student I would have said no. Not only would I have said not but I'm pretty sure I would have had a minor heart attack. Hence, I am celebrating growth of the past year and a half since graduation.

One thing that I had absolutely hated a year ago was teaching. However, a year later I love it. I love being able to be up front sharing stories from God's Word in a way that kids will be engaged from start to finish. Last night I witnessed 6th grader boys sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to hear the end of the story. When usually this group is rowdy and hard to keep the attention of. Not only do I enjoy sharing the stories with kids but I actually enjoy being on the stage teaching and speaking. A year ago when speaking my voice would be shaky, my hands would be sweaty, I would have been glued to my notes and the podium. Yesterday, was different. Yesterday, I utilized the stage. I moved around. My voice got quiet and got loud. I had my notes on stage sitting on the podium for security purposes but I didn't touch them once. So Flatirons. I think that thanks is due. Thank you for helping me discover this love to teach. Thanks for helping me discover my voice, my confidence. Thanks. The opportunity to have seen the growth first hand would not have happened last night if I hadn't volunteered to speak at Basics. It's quite an experience to be able to teach in front of a former professor without them having to grade you. It's even better when they come up to you afterwards and say that it was fun to watch me teach. Even though I didn't have any fire.

To make things even better I got to surprise two of my own Basics girls last night while they were at church for youth group. I loved being able to see the young ladies that they are growing into. It's crazy to think of how much they have grown and changed since I first met them at 3rd graders. Now they are big 8th graders and were talking about how they are getting driving permits in a year...

That's a Wrap!

I realize that I am well overdue for another blog update. But that just goes to say that life has been busy and well lived the past few months. Let's rewind to the month of May. Two significant things happened during the month. The first was a trip to the good ol Midwest for one of my college roommate's wedding. The weekend was filled with so much, but I had a great time with college friends, visiting my home church, having lunch with my nephew, and even a neighborhood block party!

The second significant happening of the month was that I got to tag team teach in the first and second grade room at the Lafayette Campus. I remember walking off stage with a new passion to teach kids. The best thing about it was that I had ZERO jitters or nervousness when I walked on stage. Let me tell you. That is a major accomplishment for me. I have always had a fear of public speaking. I recall in middle school being a part of the drama team. Yes, that is what they called it. And yes, there was THAT kind of drama involved as well as the thespian kind. But back to the point. I was a super shy, super awkward middle schooler. You would have thought that speaking would have killed me then. I still don't understand why I was on the drama team but I was. I remember after one show a student with her locker next to mine came up to me and said, "You're not very good at that whole acting thing are you?" As a middle schooler this was crushing. And it stuck. For a very long time. Too long if you ask me. But words are sticky. And these words shaped how I viewed myself when speaking in front of large groups for years and years to follow. But let's fast forward to June.

June was filled with even more opportunities to teach. Which is awesome. In the words of my supervisor, "You killed it up there!" (insert high five here). This particular time I did not tag team. I took the whole lesson. Not only did I teach once on this particular weekend but I taught twice! Each time feeling much more confident and relaxed than the last. The cool thing about teaching is that when you lead a small group afterwards you get to see the lightbulbs flick on as the kids understand what was taught.

June also held yet another trip to the good ol Midwest for the wedding of my first college roommate of 3 years, Jenn. I had a great weekend getting to be a part of her special day. Visiting with college friends, laughing, driving in lots of rain, being responsible for pinning boutonnieres on everyone when you have never pinned a boutonniere ever before in your life, and catching the bouquet after it was first thrown straight into the ceiling. I like to say that it went up to Jesus first to be blessed and then came down to me.

Now onto July. July has been a whirlwind to say the least. July 2nd I got into a pretty bad car accident. My car was totaled. I remember getting out of my car at the scene and looking back at my smashed to smithereens car and thinking, "how the heck am I alive right now?" I have always known that God is a God who protects. But until you are in a life threatening situation you don't fully understand. Life is truly a precious gift from God. Miraculously, I came out of the accident with almost zero pain. I had some bruising from my seatbelt but other than that I came out completely unscathed. During this time I had my amazing friends here in Colorado come around me and drive me to and from work until I was approved to get a rental car. Thanks to Melissa, Anne, and Lara for driving me places and everyone else who covered me in prayers. They were greatly appreciated. Also big thanks to my awesome parents who helped me through the whole insurance company process that turned into a bigger headache than needed. I also need to mention that on this day I got to skype with a missionary from Peru. It was so cool to hear more about the ministry going on there and what I could potentially do there if I am approved.

This last month has also held an interview with TEAM. I met up with my missions coach, Stephanie, and her supervisor, Jerome, at a coffee shop in Littleton. I arrived and was looking around for them at the shop and saw them sitting at a table in the back. They stood up and greeted me and then they instructed me that they had reserved a room for us to meet in. We get to the room and it turns out to be a closet with a table and three chairs and a dinky lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. Needless to say, it was the most unique setting for an interview that I have ever had. 

I also had my last weekend at the West Campus. The team thanked me with balloons and getting donuts for all of our leaders in Summit. I have loved my time at the West Campus. Getting opportunities to teach, lead small groups, get to know kids and leaders has been a wonderful experience. But I have mostly loved the team that I have served with. Lara, Susan, Sarah, and Melissa have been such a wonderful team of ladies to do life with this past year. We even got a little R and R time in Breckenridge, which was much needed after the week I had with my car accident.

I also gave my final internship presentation this past week. It was a really cool experience to hear about everyone's different experiences and seeing everyone's personalities come out during their presentations. This year has definitely been a year of growth and transformation for me. I pray that I can continue to reflect on this past year and have even more things revealed to me about what I have learned.

So many of you have asked what is next for me now that the internship is coming to a close. Well August 9 I start up at Village Creek Bible Camp where I will serve for at least 6 weeks before settling in with my parents in Wheaton. Lord willing, I will hear in September if I am approved to go to the missionary orientation with TEAM in November to go to Peru. I also hope to find a part time job in the Wheaton area. So if you know of anyone who needs a nanny starting in October or has a flexible part time job opening let me know!

Prayer Requests:
-Finishing the internship strong
-Preparedness to serve at VCBC
-The final steps in the TEAM application process
-Car negotiations
-Next steps once my time at VCBC ends

What a month...

This past month has probably been the largest emotional roller coaster of my life. I don't even like roller coasters. Which means the past month was hard. It may have been hard but it was a good kind of hard. The kind of hard where you come out the other end and you are thankful that it was hard otherwise you would have not learned anything about life and the plans that God has in it. I'm thankful that God allows us to learn amidst hard situations.

You see, this past month was filled with applications, interviews, visits from parents, conversations about my future, many hours in prayer, and many moments of confusion. Oh and a super tough retreat that rocked me to my core.

This month I filled out the first two applications for TEAM. TEAM stands for The Evangelical Alliance Mission. TEAM "partners with the local church to send missionaries and establish reproducing churches among the nations, going where the most people have the most need and proclaiming the gospel in both word and action." With that being said. I'm super excited about the opportunity that God has placed before me to pursue missions in Peru. My hope is to partner with the local Peruvians in Arequipa at El Camino Church to develop a kid's ministry program and train locals so that eventually it will be lead by them. I'm currently on the track to spend 2 years there. However, there is a long process ahead of me before I actually depart for Peru. There are still many interviews and documents that need to be filled out. I'm on track to finish everything by Mid-July, Early-August to have my file reviewed by the Midterm missions board in September. If my file is approved then I will be in contact with current missionaries in Peru to learn more about the culture and needs of Arequipa. This also means that I can attend a week long training in November. At this point will be able to start fundraising. Once I reach the 60-70% range I will attend another training. Then once the 100% is in I will leave for Peru! This whole process could potentially take up to a year and sometimes longer. I would greatly appreciate your prayers through this process as I have been dreaming of going back to Peru since I got back from a short term trip two years ago. It's hard to believe that this dream may become a reality!! If you would like to read more about TEAM and the missions opportunity in Peru click here!

If there is anything I've learned this past month it is that I need to be in constant prayer and in complete trust of what the Holy Spirit is doing in my life. I've seen prayers answered this month in ways I have never seen before. I'm learning that when you put complete trust in Him to direct, you things will happen.

Like I said earlier in this blog. I went on a Women's Retreat with Flatirons. I can't post a ton of details about the retreat here. As some of you reading this will be attending the retreat this fall. What I can say is that the strategy for my life has changed. I have asked for God to help me as I move forward to leave my burden in the past and seek to be the queen, lover, magi, and warrior of the kingdom that the sovereign God has entrusted me with.

On another note, the internship is starting to wind down. It's crazy to think that there are only 2 1/2 months left!! Where did the year go?!?!?! I've been incredibly blessed to have been a part of such an amazing place. Flatirons has become a home away from home for me. I've learned a lot this year about myself and about God and about ministry. Some people asked me if I regretted moving to Colorado because I am no longer going to live here after July 31. My answer. NOT AT ALL!!! This year has helped me to realize that I can survive thrive in an area where I initially did not know anyone. It has helped me to discover myself and what I am capable of without without my Wheaton "bubble" around me. I have loved living in Colorado this past year. I've gained so many new friends and let's be honest those friends have been more like family for me this year. I'm sad to leave them in Colorado as I move forward in this journey of my life but I'm so thankful for them and the support they have offered me.

Please pray that I would be able to be fully present in the last 2 1/2 months of the internship. I've already started to see my focus shift to the future. Pray that I would continue to invest in the friendships and ministries at Flatirons even as my time here comes to an end. (For now that is. Who knows? Maybe I'll end up at Flatirons again in the future.) Pray for me to stay aligned with God's calling in my life and that I would stay focused on him when I want things to go my way.

Leaders Go First

Growing up I never considered myself to be a leader. In my head when I thought of a leader I thought of someone who was outgoing, extroverted, and someone who had no fear of public speaking. However, according to Dictionary.com, a leader, "is a person who rules, guides, or inspires others". Well I'm not a ruler, both the piece of wood for making measurements or the one that controls a nation. However, I do guide people. And I'd like to think that I inspire people.

But more recently I'm learning that besides the obvious traits of a leader that a leader is someone who goes first even when its hard.

One of the values at Flatirons is authentic community. We strive to create a place where people come alongside one another and say, "Me too." I'm learning that one of the only ways to create a truly authentic community to is be the leader that goes first and puts the tough crap of their life out there for others to say, "Me too." 

As an intern in a mega church it's often difficult to think that you're a leader. The culture that we live in gives the stereotype that comes with an intern as "I'm just an intern. Can I get you coffee?"I know that this is far from the truth at Flatirons but because of the usual connotation that comes with the title intern you don't think of a leader. 

Recently, as interns, we finished reading Henri Nouwen's book, In the Name of Jesus: A Christian Reflection on Leadership. This was the second time reading it for me but this time I got to read it from a new perspective. I got to read in through the lense of a leader in the church. You see as we read through it the view of myself as a leader shifted. There are many ways in which I am a leader. I'm a leader of leaders in the 1st-2nd grade room. Meaning that if they need something they look to me for help. I'm a leader to the 1st-2nd graders that come in every weekend. Now, I try to let the volunteer leaders do as much of the leading as possible but when the timing is right and the leaders are few I jump in and lead a small group. 

Going through college one thing that people always told me about leading was that I led by example. I never asked what they meant but I seemed to agree for the most part but I never put leading by example as a trait of leadership until this past weekend. 

Last weekend I got to teach in the 3rd-5th grade room at West Campus. The story was from John 13:1-20. The story of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples. While studying the Scripture for myself before memorizing the script it hit that Jesus led by example. Now I'm pretty sure that I knew this before but this particular moment it really sunk in deep. Jesus went first in washing the disciples feet. After reading through the script I learned that Jesus gave us this example as a tangible way to serve others. He went first. Jesus was a leader. Leaders go first. 

Now, how the heck do I take this leaders go first mentality of washing disciples feet and make it relevant for me today? Well all I had to do when I first asked myself this question was look up and see my Taylor towel staring me in the face. All I had to say was of course! How did I not think of the Taylor towel before?! The Taylor towel is given to each student who enters and graduates from TU. At the start of each school year a new batch a freshman receive a towel that they are supposed to use. The towel reads, "One another Philippians 2:4" Philippians 2:4 says, "not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of the other." For the student this meant to live each day with others on the forefront. Then there was another Taylor towel that is given to students are graduation. This towel is more of a symbolic towel to put on display as a reminder that we are to be servant leaders just as Jesus did. This second towel is symbolic of being the good neighbor. Being someone who would selflessly serve their neighbor with no complaints. If you want to hear more about the Taylor towel I recommend watching this youtube video that JR Briggs, a Taylor grad and speaker at many Taylor chapels, made. 

So there you have it. Leaders go first. Me too. Taylor Towel. Wash feet. Serve others. Authentic community. 

February: The Month of Love

This may be cheesy but for me the month of February was definitely the month of love. From friends, family, and others I have experienced love in many ways this month.

The first way that I experienced love was on a hike at Chautauqua Trailhead in Boulder, CO. I woke up one Friday morning and saw that it was 72 degrees outside. It was my day off so I thought, "A hike sounds good today!" So I put on my sweats and a tshirt and told Siri to take me to Chautauqua Trailhead. Next thing I know I'm hiking up an incredibly slushy, muddy, and snowy trail. But it was so worth it. On my way down the mountain I saw a huge boulder that had a gorgeous view of the Flatirons. (A rock formation, not the church I work at.) So I climbed up and took a seat and basked in God's creation. For as long as I can remember one of the best ways that I connected with God is through nature and song. I turn to my phone and start playing some Vertical Church Band music and look up at the Flatirons and I couldn't help but be completely overwhelmed by the love that God has for me. This is the greatest of all loves in my life because God loves us no matter what. His love is unconditional and never ceasing. This is why it is often hard for us to accept his love because it is something that we will never be able to fully comprehend because of our sinful nature.

Another way in which I experienced love this month was on Galentine's Day, February 13th. A friend invited several of us girls from Merge over to go jump on some trampolines at Jump City and then chill at her apartment over some food and wine. I had so much fun on this night! For me this night was really one of the first times that I had been invited to hang out with people who were not other interns inviting me. We all arrived at Jump City and after a couple rounds in the foam pit and on the trampolines we went to the dodgeball court. We started a boys versus girls game. Keep in mind the boys were cocky middle schoolers and we are twentysomething women. We won 3 of the 5 games. We were a little proud of ourselves, to say the least. After 5 games we were tired and headed back to the apartment where we shared stories and food with one another. This was a night of friends loving on friends and making time for the ladies in our lives during a season that is so focused on significant others.

Third. This month I got to fly back to Chicago for a weekend for my cousin, Andrew's wedding. I loved being able to spend some quality time with family. It was nice to my own bathroom and washer and dryer for a weekend and a full sized bed to sprawl out on. The wedding was held in a converted barn. It was beautiful. The decorations were so well done and I got see my brother, sister in law and nephew. After the wedding I asked my grandma if I could spend the night with her. When I arrived at her apartment she opened up one of her kitchen cabinets and started telling me that I could have her dishes set. This is the dish set that I think of when I think of my grandma and meals at her place. Little did I know is that these dishes were passed down to her from my great grandma Harsch. I was blown away. A entire set of dishes: plates, bowls, salad plates, serving bowls, etc. were all mine. I was incredibly thankful for my grandmas gift and I can't wait to go back in May to box them all up to use at my own place someday and have my family gathered around the table eating from Great Grandma Harsch's dishes. I also got to have lunch with my cousin Christina. Christina and I have been good buds for as long as I can remember. I love getting together with her and creating new ridiculous memories like jumping out of a window at Grandmas house that was NOT at ground level. Finally the weekend at home wrapped up with a Saturday night service at Glen Ellyn Bible Church. I love that whenever I go back to Glen Ellyn that I have a church that welcomes me with open arms. It was great to spend a weekend at home wondering around my old stomping ground.

 
Finally, the last example I have of love in the month of February was Shine. Shine is an event that Flatirons hosts about every other year, it's a prom type party for those in our community who have special needs. During the course of a week our church transforms the auditorium into a dance floor, the lobby into a superhero cityscape, the kids ministry rooms into areas for carnival games, caregiver retreat, and food service. Every single inch of the church is utilized for this awesome night. We had about 2,000 guests who came decked out in the formal suits and prom dresses for this evening to celebrate them. I had the privilege of serving on the food service team. I waited on three tables and served them food and drinks throughout the majority of the night. After clearing out the room and tearing down the chairs and tables we were able to enjoy the last 30 minutes out on the dance floor. SO MUCH FUN!!! After the last dance it is all hands on deck to reset all of the rooms for church services this weekend. The amount of hands that go into this night is unbelievable. From coming in during the week to set up the rooms to serving food to being an escort and many other jobs. This night would not be possible without the awesome volunteers that come alongside the work that God is doing through Flatirons. This night was the best! I'm so glad that Shine happened during my internship year. It's awesome to see so many people rallying together to love on those who are usually shamed in our society.

To say the least, February had been an awesome month. With each passing day I grow more and more comfortable with where I am at in life. A sign that this is happening is that I have shared many sarcastic comments in the workplace over the last month. I love my job and the people I get to work alongside to create a place where kids and leaders can bump into Jesus.

A New Year, A New Season

It's hard to believe that the first month of 2015 is already over. It's also cool to look back at the growth that has happened in my own life in just one month. On January 1st, I remember saying goodbye to my parents on Concourse C at O'Hare Airport. I was balling my eyes out not wanting to leave the comforts of home for the uncomfortable of Colorado. As I walked to my gate and my parents walked to theirs I was struck by the verse Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous do not be terrified do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." I remember saying it over and over again waiting for it to sink in that God is with me wherever I go. After landing in Colorado and settling back into the intern house and going through my first day back in the office I realized that I was glad to be back at Flatirons.

About a week later we had our monthly intern check up. The two questions asked were, "What are you enjoying about the internship?" and "What is the most difficult part about the internship?" Now the first question was easy. I love everything about the internship. I know I'm doing what the Lord has called me to do so of course I am loving it. It's the second question that was hard. In regards to the internship there are difficulties but I'm surrounded by a wonderful team that helps to build things up when things are difficult. That's when I shared that it was the life outside of the Flatirons walls that was difficult.

When I'm at work I'm surrounded by my "family" same goes for my house when the other interns are home. But most of the time I'm in the house alone. This is the difficult part. I love my alone time. But I also need friendships. In order to make those friendships I have to sacrifice my precious alone time. This is the difficult part. There is also the factor that my family is 1,000 miles away. But like I said earlier, this month has been a month of growth. After sharing my difficulty in the monthly check up it's like a page was turned. After that point I no longer had moments of feeling lonely in an empty house.

Within the last month I have started working part time with Elementary at the Lafayette campus and part time with West Campus Kids. Being more involved with an age group that I love and a campus that has a tight knit community feel to it has really helped me in feeling like I have a part here in Colorado. If you had asked me a month ago if I would say yes to a job offer at Flatirons I would have said no. But now if you asked me if Flatirons would offer me a job I would say yes. Hands down! This month has been so much fun! I have gotten the opportunity to be more involved in the curriculum aspect. In fact, this past week I wrote my first two small group activities for the 1st and 2nd graders. I also have gotten to teach up at West Campus with their preschoolers. I'm really excited for what the last 6 months of the internship hold for me.

Although it is getting more and more difficult to be present when the end is just around the corner. I know that God has put me at Flatirons for a reason. I pray that I would be able to continue to stay focused on my internship and continue to invest fully in the people and ministry here. Being a planner, it is hard for me to not look to the future to start planning what the next chapter holds. However, God has given me great peace right now about living in the present knowing that He has a plan for me even when I do not know what it is.

Prayer Requests:
Over the course of the next several months I have lots of weddings. Which means lots of traveling and lots of my very small income going straight to airplane tickets. Please pray that I would be able to manage my money wisely so that I can save for these significant weddings. As well as for traveling mercies.
Pray that I would continue to be flexible to learn at my job while also having more direction of what I want to do.
Pray for personal growth in my walk with the Lord
Pray for the willingness to try new things and not be afraid of the failure that may come

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015!

And just like that it is already the last day of 2014. It's crazy how fast this past year has gone and all that the year held. In the last 365 days, I finished a 60 page research paper on my philosophy of ministry in the context of an urban after school program, graduated from college, saw one of my best friends get married, worked at VCBC for the summer in multiple positions, and then moved to Colorado and started my internship at Flatirons Community Church. To say that this year has been busy would be an understatement.

This past year has been a year in which I have had to put my faith in God's plan on the first burner. Starting 2014 not know what was in store for after graduation to then knowing what was in store and having to put full faith that I was following the call that God placed on my heart to spend a summer at camp and then the following 11 months in Colorado. To say the least I'm incredibly thankful that God gave me clarity in times where I didn't know and courage during times of doubt. Now that I've lived in Colorado for four months I've started my own routine. I've made new friends, started new habits, gotten rid of some bad habits, and all the way have had to trust that God is with me each step of this journey called life.

I'm very excited to say that during the last stretch of my internship I will be focusing on West Campus Kids and Elementary at Lafayette Campus. I'm so excited that I get the opportunity to see God work in two different areas of Colorado. I'm excited to be a part of the tight knit community that is the West Campus team as well as be a part of a bigger community at Lafayette. I'm excited to take some initiative in reaching out to the young adult leaders within Kids Ministry and to have the opportunity to teach more at the West Campus.

As excited as I am to be a part of the work that God is doing here at Flatirons it was very hard to come back after such an amazing time at home, in Wheaton. After lots of thinking and some conversations I have realized that I didn't want to come back because I didn't want to go back to the unfamiliar. In Wheaton I can drive the streets and know where I'm going and how long it will take me to get from point A to point B. In Wheaton I know people and the people know me. In Wheaton I'm comfortable and feel safe. In Colorado I feel safe and comfortable within my living situations but within the everyday job I walk in with this feeling of uncertainty that keeps me from being completely comfortable. Which has been a good and a bad thing. I know that I'm not called to be comfortable. Nowhere in Scriptures does God promise that I will be comfortable but with my uncomfortableness I have to trust that He will be my comforter. The last four months have made me trust more in what He has in store for me than ever before. I do know that over the past four months I have formed a family with my Flatirons community. If it were not for them and the prayer team I have at home and the faith that I have in Jesus. I would not have been able to step onto the plane that took me back to Denver on the first of the year.

In this next year I already know that I will be pushed and stretched farther than I ever have before. I know that there will be times of uncertainty as I get closer to the internship end date in July. But I know in full confidence that God has a plan for me. I need to keep my eyes focused on Him and He will give me the clarity in need in times of uncertainty just as He has done in the past. I don't know if I will be here in Colorado, Illinois, Indiana, or some other part of the country of even some other part of the globe. I do know that God knows and as long as I remain faithful to Him in 2015 that I will satisfied because I am going after Him. So, hello 2015! I hope that you will be another year of adventure as I seek to become more like Jesus with each passing day.