All Fear Removed

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the IF:Gathering. More specifically the IF:Wheaton, IF: Local, IF: Gathering. Basically a live stream of the IF: Gathering that took place in Austin, TX with local Wheaton women at a local church. During this weekend one of the songs that we sang quite a few times was Sinking Deep by Hillsong. I sang along the first time mindlessly singing the words not really thinking about what I was singing. Let alone singing in praise to God. The second time we sang the song I started to listen to the words. What exactly was I singing? What was I singing praise about? While listening to the chorus I became deeply convicted of something that I have been dealing with in my own life. Fear. The chorus goes as follows: 
I'm wide awake, drawing close, stirred by grace
And all my heart is yours
All fear removed, I breathe you in, I lean into
Your love, oh, your love
There are those words, "all fear removed." It didn't read just a little fear or some fear. No. It read ALL fear removed. Here I thought I was doing good in the fear category. I mean I'm moving to another country within the year to do ministry. You'd think this wasn't an issue for me. Yet I still find myself stopped, dead in my tracks, by those four letters. FEAR. I couldn't rightfully sing the song anymore. At least not until I confronted my big ugly fear head on. Low and behold during that very session of the IF:Gathering we were going to confess our sin. Oh goodie! During the confession, on the screen different sins would be flashed up. If we had committed that sin we would light up our phone screens and shine the light into the darkness. Yes. A very hi-tech confession but nonetheless a powerful visual to watch. As sin after sin flashed up on to the screen I found myself waiting for my moment to confess my living out of fear. Then up on the screen, as if God had written that slide for me personally, it read, "If you've been making decisions out of fear." I shone my phone into the darkness, shed light on the sin in my life and confess that I am not perfect and that I need God's help. 

As the evening continued we sang Sinking Deep again only this time instead of the words "all fear removed" sticking out. It was the latter part, "I lean into your love." I realize that fear is not the easiest sin to defeat but if I lean into God's love. Defeating it will become much easier. I'll be the first to admit that I still live out of fear. But knowing that it is out in the open and in the light and that I have given it to God and prayed for his help on the journey to defeat it will be easier. I say easier because, simply put, it's not easy. But with God working in me and through me it is definitely becoming easier. During the passing days since the IF:Gathering I continue to pray that God would not let me make decisions out of my fear and slowly I'm starting to see fruition. 

If you've never heard the song before I'd go ahead and take a listen. Down there↓